Go Ask Alice
by Auua Ytjoml
Summary: When her family falls into financial ruin Alice marries charming Robert Crump. But soon Robert's facade drops and Alice is driven mad under his abuse. Can a certain Mad Hatter help her learn to tread the line between Sanity and Madness? ON HIATUS
1. Fairfarren

Alice puts on her best blue dress then sits down at her writing desk with a fresh sheet of paper.

My Dear Mother and Margaret,  
Do not think this is your fault. I simply cannot stand to be here and alive anymore. This is the only way. Remember, I will always love you.

Your Loving

Alice Kingsley Hightopp

She sets down the quill, a raven feather, and picks up the small vial. The liquid at the bottom of it swirls around, hypnotizing. Tears run down her scratched and bruised cheeks. She lifts the vial to her lips and drinks the bitter liquid in one gulp. Gasping she clutches her head. The room wheels in front of her.

"Fairfarren" she whispers before collapsing on the floor in a heap.

/

_Death is no more than passing from one room into another. But there's a difference for me, you know. Because in that other room I shall be able to see._

/

It would be a week before anyone found her note lying on the floor in her room.

It would be another three months before detectives pin the abuse and disappearance of one Alice K. Crump on her husband Robert Crump.

Meanwhile the citizens of Underland stand watch over their sleeping Champion.


	2. falling into madness

"Wow! Smell this Mia!"

The two sisters, bloodhounds both, sniff at the dark stain.

Lila scrunches up her nose. "Ewwww! It smells awful."

"Do you think it's the you know what?" Mia asks.

"Maybe." Lila looks up at the sky and suddenly pulls her sister under the ruins.

"Look there, what is it?"

"I don't know."

They watch the object grow closer and closer and then crash onto the ruin steps and roll limply before coming to a stop. They creep closer.

"It's a bird." Mia says confidently.

"No its most definitely a Snark" argues Lila.

They creep closer still and then Mia dashes forward and nudges the body with her nose. She yelps and jumps backward onto Lila who also yelps and bites her sister. After wrestling for a few moments they take a closer look at the still figure.

"Its not a bird-" says Lila.

"-and its not a Snark" says Mia.

"It's the Alice." They look at each other.

"Alice!" They nudge her with their noses and paw at her arms. "Alice wake up!"

"She's not waking up."

"I'll stay here and you go get help."

"No I stay here and you go get help."

"How about this you go get help and I stay here."

Finally they decide that Mia will stay with Alice and Lila will run for help.

As Mia watches her sister disappear into the distance she howls in case someone is nearby.

"Someone, Anyone, Help!"

/

Mirana stares in horror at her friends face. Cuts and scrapes are filled with dried blood and a lacework of bruises covers her cheeks and eyes.

"Who did this to you Alice?" she asks.

Two white knights carefully bundle her up and lay her across the Bandersnatch. Mirana mounts behind her and holds her steady as they make their way to Mamorial.

"Just hold on Alice. We've got you."

/

Tarrant kneels at the side of her bed. Ever so gently he brushes her hair back from her face. His eyes flit from lavender to orange and back.

"Who done this tae her?" he asks Mirana.

The queen waves her hands around distractedly. "I don't know, I don't know"

/

Mally and Ches sit by her side. For once they don't fight. They merely keep a sharp eye out in case whoever hurt their champion returns to finish the job. Suddenly the door opens and a teacup comes flying at Mally's head she ducks and it shatters against the wall. Ches disappears and Mally hops off the table.

"You can't be throwing things in here. You might hit Alice." She scolds March Hare as he settles down on the stool to take his turn guarding Alice.

/

Days turn to weeks and weeks turn into months. The leaves in the garden grow full and strong. They change colors into brilliant fire bursts, vibrant plaids and occasional polka dots. Children gather fallen leaves to make beautiful dresses and hats in miniature. The heat grows more and more unbearable. Finally the winds pick up. East Wind, West Wind, and South Wind, lend their strength to North Wind and he flies across Underland shrieking and howling. Lightning flashes in blues and silvers around Mamorial. In the distance green lightning can be seen over the Tulgy woods. Everybody takes cover wherever they can and when the skies clear, Underland is a winter wonderland. Still Alice sleeps. She doesn't stir nor flicker her eyelids. She is not restless and as far as anyone can tell she does not dream.

Then on the first day of spring as trees shake snow of their branches and the people of Underland exclaim over new buds Tarrant Hightop sits straight up in his chair. Leaning over Alice he watches as her mouth twitchs and yawns. Her eyes flutter open and quick as a bandersnatch she jumps backwards, falls off the bed, and huddles in the corner trembling. Tarrant reaches his hand out towards her and she flinches back. His eyes, still green through all of this, go orange then red as he relizes why she is scared of him and how she had gotten the injuries she had when they found her.

"That slurvish!-Alice-Hats-Alice" His eyes flicker to a dark green and he slowly backs towards the door. Once at a safe distance he calls softly.

"Alice?"

She shakes her head violently. Looking at him with wild eyes she pleads with him. "Please Robert, don't hurt me. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I wont mention it again."

"Alice it's me Tarrant. The Mad Hatter. You're in Underland. No one can hurt you now." His eyes are burning red again but he forces his madness back, forcing his voice to be calm, controlled.

"You're right Robert, just a figment of my imagination. Thank you for welcoming me into your own home. Yes, Yes, anything. Just please don't hurt him!"

Her voice suddenly changes becoming sweet and loving.

"Oh Charles! You are so grown up now!" She stands up shakily and walks to the bed. Sitting down she looks at Tarrant and pats the bed beside her.

"Come here Charles. Sit next to me." She gazes beseechingly at Tarrant. His eyes flicker from red to blue.

"Alice, I'm not Charles. I'm Hatter, Tarrant."

She gazes at him with a welcoming smile. He presses on. "Alice come with me I'll take you to see Mirana.

"Ok Charles, I'll come with you." She follows him laughing and occasionally responding to something that he cannot hear. They enter the queen's room and Mirana stares at Alice.

"Alice! Our champion." She glides over to them at embraces Alice. "Welcome home"

Alice merely looks at her blankly. "You're late for tea Margaret. The least you could do is not be late." She responds reproachfully.

"I wasn't aware that it was teatime Alice." Mirana says to her.

Pulling the queen aside Tarrant whispers to her "She's been like this sense she woke up. Madder than a March Hare or" his lips turn up for a moment, "A Mad Hatter."

Mirana watches Alice for a long time as she wanders around the room and eventually out on to the balcony still talking to Margaret and Charles. Eventually she speaks. "Then you must lead her out of her Madness. " She drifts over to a table filled with jars and potions and the occasional vial full of liquid. She picks out two vials and hands them to Tarrant.

"Drink the yellow one now. You must find her muchness. She has locked it away I think. Then find Alice and use the green vial to bring both of you home."

He nods swallowing the lump that had suddenly appeared in his throat. He uncorks the first vial and downs the contents. Underland turns into bubbles before his eyes and pops, slowly at first then faster and faster till with a last 'pop!' he left in complete darkness where he falls screaming.


	3. Me and Myself hav tea or Too Many Alices

A/N Hello everyone! The next two chapters are literally littered with quotes from and allusions to 'Alice in Wonderland the movie 2010', 'Alice in Wonderland' and 'Through the Looking Glass'. Press the review button and send in you're own favorite quote. If I can make it fit, I'll add it to the story. Thanks for reading, enjoy.

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When he wakes up he gazes in amazement at the city around him. Most of it is gray shades of steel and charcoal mixed with black. The one exception is the street he is on which is a bright cheery robin egg blue. He stands up and fingers his pocket for the second potion. Then he looks around, stands up and readjusts his hat. Fingering the vial he sets off along the street. Unfortunately it's a dead end. But when he turns on to another street of a particularly gloomy shade the blue street fades to the palest blue gray imaginable and the new street turns bright green. Curious, he touches a building and it turns cherry red then fades to a pale pink.

"The buildings look better with a bit of color in them." He comments to himself and so he continues searching for Alice touching as many new buildings and streets as possible. Suddenly he finds himself out in the country surrounded by gray grass, trees and sky. Behind him the city shrinks into the distance and disappears with a 'pop!' Hatter stands before a white mansion. He knocks trice and a man opens the door. Hatter startles slightly at the sight of another person.

"Excuse me. Do you know where Alice is?" he asks. The man strokes his hair.

"Well now you see Aleece iz no coming ere no more sir. She'll no see you sir again." He makes a move to close the door but Tarrant shoves his way inside. The man is nowhere to be found. He opens the first door and peeks in. Inside a gray Alice is holding a small child in her arms.

"Oh Charles, you are perfect. You are my perfect son."

Tarrant slams the door shut and spins around sinking to the floor. "Of all the slurvish, slinking, slorty, shiveresh things! Alice Married! My Alice." At this his eyes, which had been growing more and more orange, turn the deepest of blues. "Oh Alice! I love you and you are married. I love your muchness and your good Alice size and-"

A/N I won't tell you all of what he said as he said quite a bit having no one to stop him and wake him from his madness. But sometime later Tarrant looks up to find himself on a balcony. He scrambles to his feet and walks through the room between him and the hallway. At least that is how he meant for things to go. Instead he finds himself locked out on the balcony. He thriws his weigt against the door again and again. Finally it crashes open. He enter the room, blinking agenst the sudden darkness.

"Your late for tea Hatter. Naughty."

He stares. Embedded in the gloom is a familiar long tea table. Dust covers everything. Tarrant slowly paces forward bushing away cobwebs. Then he sees Thackery slumbering on the table. He rushes forward and shakes his friend.

Thackery! Thackery! Wake up lad!"

A thin whisper distracts him. "He won't you know."

Tarrant turns. Standing at the head of the table is the Mad Hatter. His eyes are the brightest green and the dullest gray swirled together. His clothing is perky is some places and droops as if it was any old aboveworld suit in other places. "

"Me?" Tarrant frowns. "But-?'

"Yer in Alice's mind now Tarrant. I'm her memory of you."

"But what's happening to you? Me? You?"

"She is forgetting us. She locked away her muchness so that Robert would not hurt her."

"Who's Robert?" He stares piercingly at himself.

"Her husband."

His eyes turn red. "That slurvish, frumious, uffish, apaful-"

"Snap out of it!" His-self shouts "Alice needs you!"

Tarrant shudders. "Alice. Do ye ken where she locked way her muchenss?"

He steps onto the table and walks down it to where the other he stands and plucks a vial from his pocket.

"There is some in here but she must drink it." He turns. Tarrant calls to himself. "Aren't you coming?"

"I cant leave this room lest I disappear. That is why I locked the doors, so that no one else could leave."

Tarrant nods and unlocks the second door. He steps through the doorway and into a garden. He hears the lock click behind him and as he turns around the door fades out of sight, leaving him in the midst of an English garden. Muttering to himself about hats he makes his way among a mixture of talking red roses and ordinary white roses. One rose is half red, half white. It has half a mouth and one wide eye that stares at Tarrant accusingly. Beneath it he finds a slumbering, seven year old, alice-child. In her hand is a paint brush and a red paint can sits nearby. Tarrant walks softly towards the girl. As he does so she fades away till all that's left is the paintbrush. He picks it up.

"Odd." He comments to himself.

The bristles are slim black feathers.

"Hatta?" A high shrill voice calls out. "Hatta, where are you?"

He turns and catches sight of a blue dress whipping around the corner of a hedge. He charges after it. He rounds the corner and sees another, older, Alice hurrying away.

"Alice!" He cries out. But she only picks up her skirts and bustles away even faster. He runs after her but as fast as he goes she always is one step faster. A rose chides him as he passes it. "Come on now! If you want to catch her you must run at least twice at fast as that!" But he is already doing all the running he can do. Finally sinks to the ground to rest his head against the cool marble there and watches her round a corner and out of sight.

"The Alice I knew couldn't run like that!" he murmurs breathlessly.

Rifling through his pockets he finds some tea and gulps that down. A bag of hay falls out and he eats that to.

"But there's nothing left of the sandwiches but crusts." he sighs mournfully looking into the bag once more.

"Come now Tarrant. What have you learned so far?" asks a burbling voice.

"Well, I can't go chasing one Alice after another-"

"Or you'll never get anywhere. Correct. So?"

"There is only one real, present Alice but many memory Alices. So if I find her doing something that never happened I'll know she is The Alice."

"Good."

He waits for the voice to show itself but it doesn't so he continues down the hallways until something pushes him from behind and sends him sprawling. Angrily he leaps up and around only to be confronted with a very large foot.

"Tis a very Alicey foot to be sure but a bit big. . . "

A door appears next to him. As the foot is growing again he opens the door and passes through. The label on the door reads


	4. No Room, No Wine, No Sense

In front of him is a wooden desk with talons at the ends of its legs. Its body is black with a little tale at one end and a large bill at the other. Naturally the wrong end is not in front. Above the bill are two beady eyes and these stare at him until the writing desk comes to some sort of conclusion and quarks loudly "Ecila! Ecila!"

A drawer opens and a tiny girl climbs out of it. She takes a sip from the flask at her left hip and soon Hatter can look her in the eyes.

She smoothes out her dress and addresses him. "Do you have an appointment?"

Tarrant frowns. "For what?"

"To answer the riddle of course. Alice has been in a frenzy. 'I must answer that riddle' she says. But she can't even remember why she wants to answer it. She's mad to go on like this, and not to smart either, keeping Madness with her instead of me. Why if I was with her we wouldn't be in this mess!"

"What mess is that?" Tarrant asks, sensing that this is important to his mission.

Ecila sighs. "Robert woke up Madness. As I'm sure you know Sanity does not like Madness and the more active Madness became the less and less sane she became. Meanwhile I was trying to help her fight Madness but she locked me away from her."

"Why?" Tarrant asks.

Ecila looks hard at him. "When Madness takes over she can't remember. And for her that is a greater boon than anything I could offer."

Tarrant nods, understanding why Alice would lose herself to madness, understanding that some things are best forgotten, no matter what the price.

Ecila continues. "With her memories on the loose Hatred recruited all of Alice's more unpleasant ones and took over. He believes that getting rid of Robert is the best path to take. Love is helping me slightly by pretending to love him, Hatred I mean, but-"

Tarrant interrupts. "I don't quite understand. How could Hatred believe that Love could ever love him?"

Ecila smiles "for all of his personality flaws he is quite handsome."

"Oh. And he believes her?"

"Yes. Occasionally Love is even able to help the resistance, despite her inability to hurt someone. Our greatest victory was when she seduced Hatred allowing me control long enough to get Alice to Underland."

"So Alice doesn't even know that it is ok to be aware, to remember now?"

"No. Love cannot leave Hatred's side and I cannot get in."

"May I see her?" Tarrant asks.

Ecila is about to respond when suddenly they were plunged into darkness.

"What a thick black cloud that is!" exclaims Tarrant. "And how fast it comes!" Indeed it cover the sky within moments "Why I do believe it's got wings!"

"It's the crow!" quarks the desk angrily. With every heartbeat the shadow grows darker and the writing desk looks more and more like a dark bird.

"They hate each other, the raven and the crow!" Ecila yells over the wind. "Hurry climb on." He climbs on the raven and it takes off. Wheeling through the storm they dodge the crow's reaching talons and strike back.

"Jump for it now!" The Raven Quarks.

A blue door appears in the clouds. Tarrant leaps for it and barely grabs the frame. The storm, the raven and the crow recede into the distance and disappear with an last derisive comment "He told you to jump for it not leap!" yelled back at him by the crow. Tarrant pulls himself up and upon regaining his muchness (for he'd left it behind on the raven) opens the door.

On the other side is starlight and a large hat. He jumps down to it and the figure on the other side of it cries out "No room! No room!"

"There's plenty of room!" says Tarrant indignitly and he sits down on the brim.

"Have some tea." The girl (he recognizes her now as Alice) says in an incouraging tone.

Tarrant looks all around the Hat but there is nothing on it but Alice and him. "I don't see any tea." He remarks.

"There isn't any" says she.

"Then it wasn't very civil of you to offer it," says Tarrant distractedly.

"It wasn't very civil of you to sit down without being invited," says Alice.

"I didn't know that it was your hat." Says Tarrant.

"I never said it was, in fact it isn't." she replies.

She looks at him for some time with great curiosity, and then says "Your hair wants cutting."

Remembering her very first visit to Underland, was it really that long ago? Hatter shoots back "You should learn not to make personal remarks. It's very rude."

Her eyes open very wide on hearing this but all she says is "Why is a raven like a writing desk?"

His first impulse is to respond " I haven't the slightest idea." But his Sanity prods him and reminds him that he is here for Alice.

To stall he repeats Alice's words to him on her first trip to Underland.

"I believe I can guess that."

"Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?" Astonishingly she uses Thackery's words on that long ago visit to respond. Was this really the Alice? Then he remembers the voice in the garden. This had never happened so this was not a memory.

"Exactly so." He mutters to himself.

"What was that?" Alice asks him.

Tarrant quickly thinks over all he knows of ravens and writing desks and finally responds "They are both subjects of an unanswerable riddle."

Alice grins then frowns. Her eyes turn to blue glass. "True until he said it but it never was true if that was the answer all along but if it isn't then he hasn't answered it and who is he anyhow just landing on the hat as if he owned it and answering the riddle as if he'd heard it before. Pawh! Stupid man. Stupid, Stupid, Stupid, Stupid-"

"Alice!" Tarrant cries out.

Her eyes turn crafty and she smiles at him. "What day of the mouth is it?" she asks.

Tarrant looks at his wristwatch. "May 2nd Alice"

"Wrong!" she shrieks gleefully "Two days wrong! You can't butter me up!"

His eyes start to burn orange. He shakes his head trying to keep his madness away. For once his Sanity stays and fights.

"Alice. You are asleep. We both are. It's time to wake up."

She leers at him. He fishes the two green vials out of his pocket and hands one to her.

"Drink me." He prods her after taking his.

She downs it in one gulp then sits down with her legs hanging over the brim of his hat and starts singing.

"Drink me, Shrink me,

Never blink we find ourselves at home."

Tarrant sits down next to her. "But we aren't at home." He says bewildered. "Why didn't the potion work?"

Then he remembers.

_"Do ye ken where she locked way her muchness?"_

_"There is some in here but she must drink it."_

Tarrant fetches out the second vial and presses it to Alice's lips. She drinks it without protest. He waits. Nothing happens. He curls up next to Alice and joins her in singing "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Bat"; not thinking, not remembering, for that road leads to despair and he has nothing left to try, no way out, and no way home.

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A/N What's wrong? dun dun dun. Is she the right Alice after all? Stay tuned! The next chapter will be up sooner if you review!


	5. Meanwhile in Mamorial

A/N This is mostly a flashback set in Mamoreal. I'm sorry it's so short. I'll make up for it with an extra long chapter next time. Enjoy and review!

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Mamoreal

When Alice and Tarrant collapsed the rumors had exploded. If Mirana had to listen to one more courtier ask if the Red Queen was back or if their champion and general were really dead, she'd explode. But now she was panicking. Her potions hadn't worked and Tarrant and Alice were not waking up. She listened to the recording of their mumblings again, hoping to glean some extra fact that she had missed before.

_"These buildings could do with a bit of color." "Excuse me, do you know where Alice is?" Of all the slurvish, slinking, slorty, shiveresh things! Alice Married! My Alice." "Oh Alice! I love you and you are married. I love your muchness and your good Alice size and-" "Thackery! Thackery! Wake up lad!" "Me?" "But-" "But what's happening to you? Me? You?" "Who's Robert?" "That slurvish, frumious, uffish, apaful-" "Alice. Do ye ken where she locked way her muchenss?" "Aren't you coming?" "Odd." "Alice!" "The Alice I knew couldn't run like that!" "But there's nothing left of the sandwiches but crusts." "Well, I can't go chasing one Alice after another-" "There is only one real, present Alice but many memory Alices. So if I find her doing something that never happened I'll know she is The Alice." "Tis a very Alicey foot to be sure but a bit big. . . " "For what?" "What mess is that?" "Why?" "I don't quite understand. How could Hatred believe that Love could ever love him?" "Oh. And he believes her?" "So Alice doesn't even know that it is ok to be aware, to remember now?" "May I see her?" "What a thick black cloud that is!" "And how fast it comes!" "Why I do believe it's got wings!" _

Here Alice starts muttering as well and Mirana can hear Mally scamper out of the room to get her.

_"No room! No room!"_

_"There's plenty of room!"_

_"Have some tea."_

_ "I don't see any tea."_

_"There isn't any"_

_"Then it wasn't very civil of you to offer it," _

_"It wasn't very civil of you to sit down without being invited," _

_"I didn't know that it was your hat." _

_"I never said it was, in fact it isn't." "Your hair wants cutting."_

_ "You should learn not to make personal remarks. It's very rude."_

_ "Why is a raven like a writing desk?"_

_ "I believe I can guess that."_

_"Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?" _

_"Exactly so." _

_"What was that?" _

_ "They are both subjects of an unanswerable riddle."_

_ "True until he said it but it never was true if that was the answer all along but if it isn't then he hasn't answered it and who is he anyhow landing on the hat like it's his and answering the riddle like he's heard it before. Pawh! Stupid man. Stupid, Stupid, Stupid, Stupid-"_

_"Alice!"_

_ "What day of the mouth is it?" _

_ "May 2nd Alice"_

_"Wrong!"_ Alice shrieks. Even hearing that shriek second hand makes Mirana want to cover her ears with the wrongness of it. Alice was truly Mad at the moment. _"Two days wrong! You can't butter me up!" _

_ "Alice. You are asleep. We both are. It's time to wake up."_

It was at this point she had entered the room. She could hear her own voice. _"Come on Tarrant. Bring her home." _

_"Drink me."_

Alice starts singing. Mirana can't tell if she's drunk the potion or not.

"_Drink me, Shrink me_,

_Never blink we find ourselves at home."_

_ "But we aren't at home." "Why didn't the potion work?"_ Mirana chokes down a sob at the bewildered tone of Hatters voice, even asleep, like a kicked puppy.

Their voices then started singing "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Bat" together.

They'd continued on so long Mally had pinched them to make them stop. Now the dormouse wished she hadn't. At least singing was life. Now the two were deathly still, barely breathing. Then as Mirana goes over the record for a fourth time Mally hears something. She leans down close to Hatters mouth.

He whispers "Ecila. Ecila must drink it."

"Drink what Hatter? Who's Ecila?" Mally asks. Thackery comes in with some spit pea soup. For once it is perfectly salted. The three friends gather around the two sleepers and wait, hoping that they will wake up and everything will be fine.

"Ecila." Hatter whispers again.

Meanwhile out past the Tugley woods something stirs in an ash covered village. It lifts it's head and sniffs the air. Suddenly a sent catches it's attention. It stiffens.  
Alice has returned.


	6. Me Myself and Hatter

A/N Big spoilers in this chapter for Carol's books Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass. Also spoilers for Burton's Alice in Wonderland 2010. Spoilers are in Italics so if you don't want to read them you are forewarned. Other than that, read, enjoy and review!

Alice's POV

I don't know how long I've been here but suddenly I'm gasping for breath, as if I'd just run a marathon or had been drowning. It's dark out. Above me I can see unfamiliar constellations. Then something bumps into me.

"Ahhh!"

The guy starts but just rolls over and goes back to sleep. Gingerly I lift myself up on one elbow and look at him. The first thing that catches my eye is his pale face and bright orange hair. They seem to glow in the darkness. I can see shadows under his eyes. He must be tired. Scared with my own daring I reach out to stroke his face. He mumbles restlessly.

"Shhh. Its ok. You can sleep." I say to him. He seems to hear my voice because he turns towards me again.  
"Alice." He whispers "Underland needs you."

Underland. A pain similar to a gun going off ricochets around my skull.

_Underland._  
_White Rabbit. Drink me. Eat me. Curiouser and Curiouser! A pool of tears. Caucus race. Caterpillar, Stupid girl! Father William. Mushrooms. Duchess and pig. Pepper. Cheshire Cat. A cat without a grin but a grin without a cat? Tea and Hatters, and Hares and Mice! No room! No wine! Why is a raven like a writing desk? The best butter, two days wrong. Twinkle, Twinkle. Always tea time – treacle wells. The Queens Garden. Why don't you paint the roses red? Croquet with the queen of hearts. Flamingos and hedgehogs. Off with their heads! Mock Turtles Lament and The Lobster Quadrille. Who stole the hearts? Not a wit of meaning. Just a pack of cards._  
_Underland_  
_Looking glass Alice. Chess on the hearth. Lily. The Jabberwocky! Gardens and roses. The red queens advice, the white queens pawn. All the running you can do. On the train and looking glass insects. The – something of no names. Tweedledum and Tweedledee. The Walrus and the Carpenter. Nice new rattle. The Crow. The red king. Who's dream is it? Tidying the White Queen. Hatter in jail. Two eggs and a sheep. Humpty Dumpty, A very happy unbirthday to you! Paying words extra. Jabberwocky! All the kings horses and all the kings men. Two messengers, one to come and one to go. One to fetch and one to carry. Anglo saxon attitudes. I love my love with an H. The Lion and the Unicorn You might as well try and stop a bandersnatch. Bread and butter, tea and wine. Fabulous monsters. I'll believe in you if you believe me. Drummed out of town The white knight, inventions, Goodbye! Questioning queens Sleeping Queens looking glass people quoth me draw near, Catching the Red queen, shaking her, Black Kitten's trouble and White Kitten's bath._  
_Underland_  
_I need a moment. White rabbit. Room of doors. The wrong Alice. Tweedles, Dormouse-Mally, Dodo. Absolute, Absolum. Oraculum. Frabjous Day. The Bandersnatch. My arm! Jub-Jub Bird. Tugly Woods, Chesire. A grin without a cat. Allow me to bind that for you. It's him! I'd know you anywhere. I'd know him anywhere! It's the Wrong Alice! Nonsense. It's absolutely Alice! On that day I shall Futterwacken vigorously. Dowyl Wit the Bloudy Bieg Haed! Twinkle Twinkle little bat. Try this on for size. Travel by hat. Twas brillig, and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe: All mimsy were the borogoves, and the mome raths outgrabe. It's about you. I don't slay. YOU DON'T SLAY! Bayard. Salezum Grun. Um from Umbridge. Stayne the Knave. Eye for a healing and a sword. The letter M. I think I'm going mad. All the best people are mad. Why is it that you are always too tall or too small? Alice Run! Bandersnatch! Escape! Mamorial. A Hero's return. Yer late fer TEA! Is this a Dream? Half mad to dream you up. I will fight. Six impossible things before breakfast. Concentrate on the Jabberwock. Jabberwocky blood. You could stay. Things to do, questions to answer. Fairfarren._

You could stay.

Stay.

Stay.

"Tarrant!"

She leans over the man beside her and shakes him vigorously.

"Tarrant! Hatter! Wake up!"

He throws his arm over his face. "Jus a wee bit moore sleep, Mum."

"Tarrant, it's me! Alice!"

His eyes snap open. "Alice!" He sits up with a grin wider than Chesire's. "You remember me!"

She hugs him tightly. "Of course I do. I've missed you so much." Finally she looks around and takes in the night sky and large Hat. "But where are we?"

Hatter frowns. "We are stuck in your mind at the moment."

Well lets wake up! Unless Underland is only a dream."

Suddenly the Hat skims through a patch of grass and the two friends tumble to a stop. Tarrant helps Alice up and brushes her down. Now that he can get a better look at their carriage, he realizes that it is his own hat.  
"Look Alice! I've never ridden my own hat before."

She laughs with him and they have themselves a good chortle before deciding that it would be best to keep moving. Alice is leading the way through a forest of mushrooms when Tarrant suddenly stops dead and searches frantically through his pockets.

"Ecila. Ecila must drink it."

Alice who had turned around again asks him "Who is Ecila?" She asks

"Your-" He stops. Maybe he shouldn't tell her. "A girl in here. Her name is Ecila. She must drink a potion I gave you."  
He looks in his hat and in his shoes and then moans in dispair.  
"Gone." He croaks.

Alice reaches inside the hidden pocket of her dress and pulls out two glass vials.  
She holds them out to him. "Hatter? Are one of these it?"

He looks up at her and snatches the vials away. "Yes! This is it!" he exclaims. "But we must find Ecila."

They sit down on a mushroom and contemplate how to find someone in a dreamscape. Alice frowns in concentration reciting as she does so.

"How doth the little crocodile  
Improve his shining scales."

Suddenly a large golden lizard hauls himself out of the river. Alice jumps up in alarm for the reptile is larger than she. Tarrant fingers a hatpin and stands warily in front of Alice.  
But their caution is needless. The animal merely washes some dirt and mud off of its tail then goes to sleep.

Now Alice gets an idea. Haltingly she recites

"Oh where, Oh where, can Ecila be  
With her hair as-"

She looks at Tarrant. Humming he responds. "golden as yours or a lions or a-."

"With her hair as gold as a lion's.  
"With her nose hung short and her legs grown long,  
Oh where, Oh where can she be?"

As suddenly as the crocodile had come, a shadow glides over them. They look up to see a large black bird soaring towards them.

"The crow!" Alice cries in alarm.

Tarrant catches her by the wrist. "No Alice the Raven."

Indeed it is. The Raven lands beside them. "You ask for Ecila?"

Alice hangs back. Tarrant bows to the bird "Yes. How was your battle with the crow?"

The bird flaps his wings "Good, Good, got that wormcrow good. He not come back for long time!" and stares at the couple, "I carry you both. Get on. On! Take you to Ecilagirl."

Tarrant helps Alice up then clutches the ravens neck as they accelerate quickly and suddenly. He can feel Alice clutching his waist and the sensation sends shivers through him. Were her hands cold? Why would he shiver when Alice touched him?

"Look Tarrant!" Alice points with her chin to the landscape below them. Patches of groomed English trees mix with patches of the wild Tulgey woods. Then Yorkshire pastures mix with grassy Underlandian slopes.

Tarrant giggles "You, Alice, are a patchwork of Upper and Under land."

She smiles sadly. "But where do I belong?"

Raven intercedes. "You belong with Ecila and your heart."

"But where are they?"

In WUnderland of course."

Suddenly Alice slips. She grabs for Tarrant but her hands grab glossy feathers instead. Tarrant reaches out a hand to steady her but his fingers go straight through her.

"Tarrant! What's happening to you?"

He opens his mouth to respond but she hears nothing. She realizes she can see through him just in time to watch him disappear.

"Tarrant!" she cries out "Stay with me!"


	7. No Muchness without Madness

7. No Muchness without Madness

Tarrent's POV

"Tarrant!" she cries out "Stay with me!"

"I will, don't worry Alice." I tell her but the words are whipped out of my mouth by a heavy wind. It picks at my clothing and suddenly I'm fading away. I stretch out a hand towards Alice but I'm blown away from her. I spin around and around before slamming down hard onto something soft. I open my eyes. The white walls of Mamorial surround me. I'm home.

"Tarrant!" someone calls out my name with this time joy not fear.

I sit up. "Mally!" I cry out. "It's so nice to see you again. I didn't get the chance earlier, not that it would have been as nice as meeting the real you as meeting memory Mally. Memory Mally. Memory Mally. Mally Memory. Mally 'member- Ow!"

Mally sheaths her sword.

"Sorry. I'm fine."

She sits down beside me. "I know Hatter. You're simply marvelous."

I look around the room and see a second bed beside me. In it lays Alice. I watch her quietly breath in and out. Then she mutters to herself and rolls over.

"Why hasn't she woken up?" I ask Mally.

Mally shrugs. "I don't know. Did she drink the potion?"

"Yes, absolutely."

"Then we will just have to wait. You didn't wake up right after you drank the potion either."

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Alice's POV

Raven and I fly through clouds that toss and turn like ocean waves. A pirate ship appears in the distance, bucking up and down on the enormous swells before disappearing from sight. We circle downwards and land in front of a half circle of people. There are twenty or so of them. Some have scales some have wings, one has a ropey furred tail and ears, and another seems to be made of glass. As my eyes land on each one of them their names come instantly to my tongue. Each one so finely embodies their name that it is as obvious as looking at them, who they are. The four in front are Love, Hate, Muchness and Madness. On either side of them stand Sanity, Curiosity, Fear, and Loyalty. These eight stand in the first row of the crowd and all of the others cluster around them.

"Hello Alice!" they chorus.

I slide off of the Raven and he takes off again. Love and Hate step forward. Love is my replica but different. Pale purple streaks run through her hair and her entire body seems to shimmer like air above a hot road. Hate is tall with long black hair down to his waist. His eyes are a deep indigo and shadows shift under his skin.

Love speaks first. "I am Alyss and he is Alec. We, all of us-" Here she waves a hand to incompass all of those in the crowd. "- are different parts of you. You were brought here by Asioe –Madness- when he contested Ecila's –Muchness'- influence over you."

Hesitantly I skip forward, eyes flashing. "I wish to go home."

Hate-Alec speaks up. "If Ecila drinks the vial you hold then you will return, but, Asioe will always have a stronger hold on you-us if you choose to do so." His voice slips around me like a snake. His body emits a heat that sears the air around him and yet, none of us are affected by it.

A pale version of me with soft gray wings steps forward, Sanity. "Alice, we are all what your world considers emotions or personalities. But we are you. Hate does not hate you-he hates those who would harm you. Madness did not mean to bring you here, it was an accident. We fight and bicker amongst ourselves but not one of us wish to harm you, for to harm you would be to harm ourselves."

"Is there any other way for me to return?" I ask. I feel like these people speak the truth but that doesn't mean I want to let Madness have control.

Unfortunately the verdict is clear "No".

A small girl with blue scales clears her throat shyly and adds. "At least none that we know of."

I nod. "Then I wish Ecila to drink it."

As the words leave my lips, everyone except Ecila and Asioe disappear. Muchness and Madness shake hands and then Ecila downs the contents of the vial.

The world spins. Vibrant greens and blues swirl into whites and grays.  
I sit up. Clean, elegant white surrounds me. Across the room another bed lies empty and messed as if someone had just leapt out of it.

"Hello?"

A small white mouse runs into the room. "Alice!"

"Mally I'm home!" I cry gladly at the sight of my friend.

She grins and taps her sword. "We wont ever let them take you back again Alice, Don't worry."


	8. A Madder Alice

A/N. I'm so sorry I haven't updated this in forever. Things might move along now more quickly. I came to a head once Alice was safely back in Underland and I wasn't sure how I wanted to portray this new variation of her that is mostly the Alice we know but is now just a little madder. Please review and tell me how you think I did.

Also this chapter contains a flashback within a flashback. *** denotes when the first (outer) flashback begins and ends and Italics denote where the second (inner) flashback is. Enjoy!

Alice's POV

As I walk the same paths I walked not so long ago something has changed. It is not in the flowers or the sky or in the backdrop of waterfalls or in Underland spreading out before my eyes. Something has changed within me. Hatta says that while I was asleep I was living within my mind. He says that he visited me there, but I don't remember any of it. Perhaps if I did I would understand the strange prickling behind my eyes, the itching in my fingers. Sometimes I feel as if I must explode if I don't do something yet there is nothing for me to do. Underland has long since been restored to its former glory in the interim of my absence and for the most part the citizens of Underland don't need a champion anymore than they need a monarch. Mirana and I are wartime measures – shields against darkness. And we are revered for it but that doesn't solve my problem. Nothing to do. Nothing to do. Nothing to

"Alice?"

I glance up from the balcony, startled. "Your Maj- Mirana!"

"Lost in thought?"

"you could say that."

She surveys the scene before us before lightly mentioning "Tarrant wants you for your fitting. He is quite eager to hat you."

Eager to Hat me?! I rush off to the storeroom that was converted long ago into a workshop for the Royal Hatter. Bursting in I stumble over a bolt of fabric and go tumbling into the arms of the tall, pale man waiting for me.

"You're not late yet Alice!" He grings. "In fact …" a clock chimes the thirds hour "… you are now exactly on time!"

I smile back as he sets me on my feet and motions for me to take a seat on the window bench.

"I thought you would like to look out at something while I work."

"While you work?" I repeat puzzled. "I thought… the fitting… hats"

"Oh! I forgot to ask you. I'm dreadfully sorry. You might have something else planned but I would dearly love to-"

"Hatter!" I raise my voice. "I would love to stay-" with you. My thoughts complete but I snap my mouth shut before they can slip out."

"Fantasic! I wished to see you to compare the hat to it's wearer… if it isn't too much trouble…"

"NO!" I yelp then whisper "no, no, no, Not at all! I mean… I'm really… Thank you…"

"Alice?"

I realize my eyes are unfocused and someone is calling my name.

"Yes?"

The blurry figure consolidates into my Hatter. My Hatter? Whatever would give me that idea? He's not mine any more than he's anyone else's. If he's anyone's he belongs to himself… but maybe-

"Alice!"

"Sorry! What were you saying?"

Tarrant's eyebrows scrunch up together like two orange caterpillars. I wonder what he's thinking.

"I was just asking you if you were ready to begin?" He says hesitantly.

"Of course! How would you like me to sit?"

"However you'd like." He murmurs happily.

I arrange my self comfortably on the window seat with my legs curled under me, and my head resting on my arms. Hatter hums cheerfully while he works; his hands hovering briefly around my head. I shiver at his touch. It seems to excite my skin even more so than before. I think back to the first time, just over a day ago, that I had seen him upon arriving in Underland again.

***flashback

"Alice! Your back!"

I turn from Mally's story about a treacle well and my grin widens.

"Hatter! You can't imagine how glad I am to see you! Did you find me and bring me back? My last few days in London seem rather blurry… I remember stories… pain… questions… " oh Robert don't! … please! Images swirl in front of my eyes.

_Robert didn't approve, but Charles was fascinated by my tales of Underland and it's inhabitants. I had just been telling him about the mad tea parties when Robert came home early. I'd been so engrossed in memories of the Mad Hatter, the March Hare, and the Dormouse, memories of my first trip to Underland, that I hadn't noticed him coming up behind me until he was pinching my neck. _

"_Alice. What have I told you about these stories?"_

_I don't react to the pain in my neck; trying to keep Charles protected. _

"_Charles It's time for bed."I murmur cutting off. _

"_Awww! I wanna nother story Mama!"_

"_Another time darling."_

_Robert releases my neck while I tuck our boy in and give him a kiss. He leans down and kisses his boy briefly and we exit with tension crackling between us. As soon as Charles' door is shut Robert yanks my hair and drags me downstairs. _

"_What have I told you?"_

"_Oh Robert don't! They're only stories." I say though I know they're not._

"_I'll not have my son growing up with such ideas! I took you in when no one else would! I ignore your little eccentricities! put up with the whispers that follow us, follow me! but I will not! I repeat, I will not have our son grow up in such debauchery! From now on you will not see him until you can be a proper mother to him! An example of how a women should behave!"_

"_Please Robert-"_

_The slap stings. I reach up tracing the outline of his hand across my face. I raise my eyes to meet his._

"_You didn't-"_

_The second slap sends me reeling._

"_First lesson. Don't talk back to your husband!"_

"_You've-"_

_I double over gasping for breath. He drags me through the house and tosses me like a rag doll onto our bed. _

"_Second Lesson. Give your husband what he wants, when he wants!"_

_He rips off my over garments then flips me to face him. My arms begin to go numb under the pressure of his fingers. I wince as he lets go, traces his finger under my chin and raises my head to face his. _

"_Third Lesson. Listen up Alice. There is no such thing as Underland. You will stop telling these… stories-"he spits distastefully. " You will never speak of this again. Understood?"_

_I shake my head frantically. He can't mean it. I'd known he'd disapproved of my eccentricities but I hadn't thought it was hate. I hadn't though it would go this far. _

_I vaguely feel a cool breeze on my skin as the rest of my cloths are removed forcibly. I struggle for a while but gradually things become hazy and I no longer remember details like words said or days past. "Alice … Alice… Alice..-"_

"Alice! Please Alice wake up! Alice!"

Gradually I become aware of my surroundings again. Two hands are placed on either side of my face. While I can feel their rough quality they are also delicately placed. So light is their touch that I might not have noticed them except that their owner is staring worriedly into my eyes.

"Alice! Are you all right?"

I blink at the man in front me. Hatter. My friend. He is a safe person. A safe harbor.

"I'm fine." My voice comes out as a whisper.

His lips unpurse and form a shaky grin.

"That's what I'm supposed to say."

His gentle humor is meant to defuse the tension in the air, and I do bark a laugh, but then I'm crying; crying as I hadn't since the death of my Father. Hatter gathers me into his arms and rocks me like a child. I cling to him, seeking proof that he is real, that Wonderland is real.

*** end flashback

"Alice? What do you think?"

I turn outward from my thoughts and look at the hat Hatter is holding out to me.

It is checkered white and mid blue (perfectly balanced between the pastel of sky blue and the brightness of blue blue) with a broad rim that extends just to the outskirts of my head. A bright purple hatpin in the shape of a cat – I wonder if Chess was the inspiration for that? – winks cheerily at me from the side.

"Why… Hatter… I love it!"

His clothing crispens and his eyes laugh merrily at me. "I'm so glad, I mean I wasn't sure if it would suit you even though it suits you … oh dear… do you know what I mean?"

"I do. And you needn't worry Hatta. I love it!"

"I wish you wouldn't do that." His smile closes just a notch.

Mine falls from my face. "Do what? What have I done?" I worry peeking up at him anxiously.

"Oh don't be upset Alice!" Now it's his turn to look worried. "I merely have a mild objection to your calling me Hatter. I'd much prefer if you used my real name….."

I sigh in relief. "I believe I can do that."

He brightens up again and proceeds to have me try it on. Gently he tucks the pin through the hat and under a strand of my hair, then back out of the hat again. The hat tilts slightly on my head. Just enough so that my right ear is exposed while my left ear is covered. It feels right to have a hat.

"I love it." I proclaim again softly.

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A/N By the way, as of this chapter Go Ask Alice is 8,861 words, including author's notes. I have a story on my computer that I just started last weekend. It's already over 15,000 words and the words are still flowing from my fingertips. I'm so excited. I wan't to finish it before I start posting to make sure I can post at regular intervals and not frustrate my readers, but if any of you are interested it's an X-men: Movie fic about Toad as played by Ray Park.


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